Closing this, closing that.

So months went by with me working with businesses with whom my mother held accounts. It got to the point where I began to judge the worth of the company by whether they offered condolences when I told them why I was calling; how insane is that?

As I got closer to the time when I could consider the sale of the house, I began to go through the marketing correspondence I'd received that I mentioned in the the last entry and to research them intensely. One particular business had contacted me via mail in a consistent yet respectful fashion and I began to lean towards them. I wasn't overly impressed with the website at first, but a business really can't and shouldn't be judged wholly on their web presence alone. As a research librarian, I've had to evaluate an insane amount of websites and have often found hidden treasures often overlooked simply because they didn't have the whiz-bang bells and whistles of other sites peddling similar products.

As mentioned previously, I could not liquidate any of my mother's property due to the vague wording in her will until I closed on the estate. I received the notice from the court in September telling me that time period for creditors to make claims to the estate had expired and I could now proceed with the paperwork required to close the estate. After looking over it, I knew that there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to do it without legal assistance and decided to take the court's advice and hired a lawyer. If you're going to do this, shop carefully. The main prerequisites are that the lawyer is familiar with probate/estate proceedings in the county where your parent died and also practices there (I put out a call for recommendations on LinkedIn and got a few responses from lawyers who knew estate law in my preferred state/county but practiced in the state I lived; not helpful). I eventually hooked up with a solo practitioner, which eventually presented its own set of challenges. Because my own experience with the legal profession was limited to what is known as Big Law, I was accustomed to the speed that having many minions (of which I was one) at one's beck and call produced. I had to learn the art of patience and biting my tongue when it came to dealing with a solo practitioner with a staff of...two.

So as it became clearer when I might actually close the estate with probate, I contacted the business I had chosen to assist in the sale of the house sometime in November. Delightful people, they were able to give me an offer on the house very quickly after they'd done a walk through (their names will only be of use to you if you have or are looking for property in the limited area of the South in which they operate, so I shall not include their names here; just ask if you're interested). After that, they took care of everything necessary, down to performing the title search on the property. I stayed in constant contact with them; providing them with every piece of information they required every step of the way in an ASAP fashion much to their delight because I am OCD like that.

So while the work with the lawyer and the house buying folks was either humming or dragging along, I began working on clearing out the house. The plan was to simply donate everything that a local charity (recommended by the house buyers) would take, which was a great deal (even the car!). On one of my myriad trips to the house, they met me for a walk through to determine how much manpower and truck space they would need for the pick up. I agreed to pack up the house, as it was a great deal and they really didn't have that much manpower. After about the third or fourth trip, I realized that I was insane if I thought I'd be able to do it all myself and besides, by now, I was facing serious burnout. Additionally, work with the lawyer had progressed and the estate had closed, so time was running out (real estate closing is time sensitive, as some actions like the results of the aforementioned title search can expire), so I gave in and hired a moving company I'd used personally before to do the rest of the packing. I knew that the charity wasn't going to take everything, so I hired 1-800-GOT-JUNK to do the final clean out on the same day after the charity was finished. Here's another tip I learned: if you don't get to talk to the people who are doing the actual physical labor when you set up these appointments, make sure you find a way to do so before they arrive. Both the laborers for the charity and Got Junk had no idea exactly how big the job was until they arrived, even though I'd been painfully explicit with the scheduler at the call center for GJ and the charity staff who had actually seen what was in the house. Because of that, both teams had to schedule return dates to finish the job. Well, GJ didn't, they just hauled everything that didn't fit in the truck out into the driveway and thankfully came by the next morning to scoop it up. You'll also want to schedule this kind of work beginning early in the morning, as it will take a great deal longer than you might suspect. As it was, I didn't get to start the 2.5 hour trek back to my own home until around 9PM.

So we're almost at the end here, folks. Oh, I did promise to relate how I railed against Southern etiquette. What I did-or didn't do-flies in the face of old school proprieties. When you get married, you receive gifts for which you are required to send thank you notes. No problem there. When you have a housewarming party, it's a very kind thing to also send thank you notes to those who bring gifts. Sure, I can get with that. A baby shower? Same thing. But my internal thank you note machine came to a grinding, screeching spectacular halt when it came to considering sending thank you notes to folks who had sent flowers (which we'd requested they not do) or other memorial type..things. Death is not a planned event, and I'd required nothing from anyone. I paid the individuals who had provided their services as required and in some cases, well and above that. I sincerely and fervently thanked everyone on the spot who had helped out with the funeral and home visitation and then some. But the thought of sitting down and going through the cards and the visitation book to pen thank you notes did nothing but make me even more depressed and strangely distraught than I already was over the shock of mother's death. To me, it seemed to elongate the grieving and I just. Couldn't. Do it. So shoot me.

Next: tying up loose ends.